She's JV to your varsity
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
