Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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