drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize