also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Still dying that you shit outside
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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