just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
