If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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