am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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