someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
