We're like a lot better than the average bears
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
