We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
