the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
