He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize