hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
