i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
