That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
