Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
