Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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