Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
