i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
