At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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