Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
