you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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