I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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