hell yes lets make some ravioli
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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