how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
