Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
