he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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