I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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