No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
