im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You pole danced in your parka.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
