I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
