Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
That accounts for only three of the penises
sex in a hospital.. check
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
