Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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