My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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