we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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