I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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