so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
