whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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