Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
