I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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