wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize