I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize