i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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