My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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