ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
