A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I AM VODKA MAN
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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