break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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