I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
