Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
