I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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