he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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