we made out on top of his cat.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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