It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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