That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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