If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
