I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
