I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
