Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
