Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
