But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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